Spiritual Connection vs Sexual Chemistry: What Matters More in Conscious Relationships?

Spiritual connection vs sexual chemistry explained: Discover which matters more for lasting love, why you need both not either/or, how to assess soul connection and physical attraction separately, when to walk away from one without the other, and building relationships that honor body, heart, mind, and soul together.

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Quick Answer: You need BOTH spiritual connection and sexual chemistry for a fulfilling relationship. Spiritual connection without sexual chemistry creates: deep friendship, platonic love, companionship without desire, eventual resentment about missing physical intimacy, and roommate dynamic not romantic partnership. Sexual chemistry without spiritual connection creates: passionate but empty encounters, physical satisfaction without emotional depth, relationships that burn hot then die fast, no foundation for long-term partnership, and feeling lonely even during sex. The goal is integration: soul-level recognition AND physical desire, deep conversation AND passionate touch, spiritual alignment AND sexual attraction, mental stimulation AND body connection. Don't settle for one without the other—conscious embodied love honors ALL of you.

Your soul recognizes them. But your body doesn't want them.

Let me tell you about three people caught in this painful dilemma:

Sarah, 32: Met someone at meditation retreat. Deep soul connection. Hours of meaningful conversation. Spiritual alignment. But zero physical attraction. She's tried kissing him—nothing. Feels guilty because he's "perfect on paper." Trying to force chemistry that isn't there. Wondering if she's being shallow for wanting physical desire too.

Marcus, 35: Incredible sexual chemistry with someone he's dating. Best sex of his life. But can't have deep conversation. She's not interested in growth, consciousness, depth. He feels empty after sex. Using physical connection to avoid feeling the spiritual void. Knows it won't last but can't let go of the chemistry.

Priya, 29: Had both with her ex—soul connection AND sexual fire. Now dating again. Keeps meeting people with one or the other, never both. Spiritual guys bore her physically. Hot guys bore her mentally. Starting to think she can't have both. Considering settling for spiritual connection and "sex isn't that important."

What they all share:

Experienced the dilemma firsthand
Trying to prioritize one over the other
Feeling guilty about physical needs
Or ignoring spiritual needs for chemistry
Wondering which matters more
Afraid they can't have both
Considering settling

Here's what the spiritual community gets wrong:

They act like spiritual connection is "higher" and sexual chemistry is "lower." That awakened people transcend physical desire. That if you're conscious enough, you won't need sexual attraction. That soul connection should be enough.

This is BULLSHIT. And it's harmful.

You're not:

Too spiritual to want sex
Shallow for needing physical attraction
Unenlightened for desiring chemistry
Wrong for wanting both

You're:

Human with a body
Entitled to desire
Worthy of integrated love
Right to have both

This article will help you:

Understand both types of connection
Assess what you actually have
Know when one without the other works
Recognize when it doesn't
Stop feeling guilty about your needs
Find integrated love

Because conscious relationships honor ALL of you—body, mind, heart, AND soul.

Not just soul. ALL of you.

Let's talk about this honestly.

Understanding Spiritual Connection

What soul recognition feels like:

What Is Spiritual Connection?

The soul-level experience:

Spiritual connection is:

Recognition beyond logic
Feeling known deeply
Energetic resonance
Soul familiarity
Shared consciousness
Spiritual alignment
Values compatibility
Growth-oriented bond

It feels like:

"I've known you forever"
Conversations flow effortlessly
Mutual understanding
Seeing each other's essence
Spiritual partnership
Soul recognition
Deep peace together

You experience:

Hours talking without boredom
Finishing each other's thoughts
Aligned values and vision
Supporting each other's growth
Comfortable silence
Mental/spiritual stimulation
Purpose alignment

This is real. This is valuable. This matters.

Signs of Strong Spiritual Connection

How you know it's there:

You can:

Talk about anything for hours
Share your deepest self
Feel safe being vulnerable
Grow together
Challenge each other lovingly
Understand without words
Support each other's paths

They:

See your soul, not just surface
Accept all of you
Inspire your growth
Share similar values
Match your depth
Resonate energetically
Feel like home

Together you:

Dream big together
Build vision for future
Support each other's becoming
Feel spiritually aligned
Sense purpose together
Experience synchronicity
Know you're "meant to be"

This is beautiful foundation.

Why Spiritual Connection Matters

What it provides:

Long-term benefits:

Foundation that lasts
Deep intimacy
Emotional safety
Mutual growth
Shared meaning
Life partnership
Soul companionship

Spiritual connection:

Survives challenges
Deepens over time
Provides stability
Creates true partnership
Builds lasting love
Sustains through difficulty

Without this: Relationships are shallow, temporary, unsatisfying, lack depth.

This is essential.

When Spiritual Connection Alone Isn't Enough

The hard truth:

Soul connection without body:

Creates deep friendship
Not romantic partnership
Platonic love
Companionship without desire
Beautiful but incomplete

You might experience:

Feeling like best friends
No sexual desire
Physical intimacy feels forced
Trying to make it work mentally
Guilt about "not being spiritual enough"

The reality: Friendship is wonderful. But if you want romantic partnership, you need more than spiritual connection.

You need physical desire too.

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Understanding Sexual Chemistry

What the body knows:

What Is Sexual Chemistry?

The physical experience:

Sexual chemistry is:

Physical attraction
Magnetic pull
Sexual tension
Body desire
Energetic spark
Hormonal response
Primal recognition
Physical compatibility

It feels like:

Can't keep hands off them
Magnetic pull
Excitement seeing them
Physical butterflies
Sexual tension
Body lights up
Want to touch constantly

You experience:

Strong physical desire
Great sex
Physical pleasure
Body satisfaction
Passion and fire
Sexual compatibility
Physical magnetism

This is also real. Also valuable. Also matters.

Signs of Strong Sexual Chemistry

How you know it's there:

Physical indicators:

Strong attraction immediately
Can't stop touching
Great sexual compatibility
Passionate kissing
Desire for intimacy
Body responds strongly
Sexual satisfaction

Energy indicators:

Magnetic pull
Sexual tension even clothed
Excitement around them
Physical nervousness (good kind)
Energy buzzes
Alive in body with them

Sexual connection:

Communication during sex
Mutual pleasure
Adventurous together
Satisfying for both
Natural rhythm
Physical compatibility
Desire continues over time

This creates passion, excitement, aliveness.

Why Sexual Chemistry Matters

What it provides:

Essential benefits:

Physical intimacy
Passion and excitement
Sexual satisfaction
Body connection
Romantic love (not just friendship)
Desire and attraction
Physical bonding

Sexual chemistry:

Keeps romance alive
Creates physical intimacy
Bonds you deeply
Brings joy and pleasure
Maintains desire
Prevents roommate dynamic

Without this: Relationships become platonic, desire fades, resentment builds, feels like friendship not romance.

This is also essential.

When Sexual Chemistry Alone Isn't Enough

The other hard truth:

Body connection without soul:

Creates hot but empty sex
Physical satisfaction without depth
Passion that burns out fast
No foundation for partnership
Lonely even during intimacy

You might experience:

Amazing sex
Empty conversations
Nothing in common
Bored outside bedroom
Using sex to avoid noticing gap
Knowing it won't last

The reality: Sexual chemistry creates passion. But without spiritual/emotional connection, it's hollow and temporary.

You need soul connection too.

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The Dangerous Either/Or Mindset

Why we split them:

The "Spiritual Is Higher" Lie

What you've been taught:

The narrative:

Spiritual connection is "evolved"
Sexual chemistry is "base" or "lower"
Conscious people transcend physical
Soul connection should be enough
Wanting sex is "unspiritual"
Physical desire is "ego"

This creates:

Shame about physical needs
Guilt for wanting chemistry
Staying in passionless relationships
Thinking you're "not evolved enough"
Denying your body
Spiritual bypassing of legitimate needs

The truth: This is dualistic thinking. Body and spirit aren't separate. Both matter equally.

The "Chemistry Is Enough" Trap

The opposite error:

The narrative:

"Follow the chemistry"
Physical attraction is paramount
Great sex means good relationship
Passion is all you need
Depth can develop later
Just focus on chemistry

This creates:

Ignoring red flags
Prioritizing lust over compatibility
Hollow relationships
Burnout when passion fades
No foundation when tested
Lonely in relationship

The truth: Chemistry without connection is also incomplete. Neither alone is enough.

Why We Prioritize One

Common patterns:

Prioritizing spiritual connection:

Past relationships were all chemistry, no depth
Got hurt by physical-only connections
Spiritual community influence
Wanting "higher" love
Denying body needs
Fear of being "shallow"

Prioritizing sexual chemistry:

Past relationships were platonic/boring
Afraid of missing out on passion
Youth and hormones
Not wanting to "settle"
Denying soul needs
Fear of being "uptight"

Both stem from: Fear, past pain, false beliefs, incomplete understanding.

The answer isn't choosing. It's integration.

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You Need Both (Yes, Really)

The integrated truth:

Why Integration Matters

Whole-person love:

You are:

Body
Mind
Heart
Soul
ALL OF IT

Relationship should honor:

Physical desire (body)
Mental stimulation (mind)
Emotional connection (heart)
Spiritual alignment (soul)

If missing any: Part of you remains unfed, unsatisfied, neglected, resentful.

Integrated love: Feeds all aspects. Honors your wholeness. Sustainable long-term. Deeply satisfying.

What Both Together Creates

The magic of integration:

Soul connection + sexual chemistry =

Deep friendship AND romance
Meaningful conversation AND passionate sex
Spiritual growth AND physical pleasure
Long-term foundation AND ongoing desire
Best friend AND lover
Partnership AND passion

You get:

Someone who sees your soul
AND wants your body
Understands your depths
AND desires your touch
Challenges your growth
AND ignites your passion

This is: Integrated love. Embodied spirituality. Conscious relationship. The real goal.

The "Good Enough" Myth

Why settling doesn't work:

Telling yourself:

"Sexual chemistry isn't that important"
"I can live without physical desire"
"Spiritual connection should be enough"
"I'm being shallow wanting both"
"Maybe passion will develop"

What actually happens:

Resentment builds
Feel trapped
Sexual frustration
Living like roommates
Eventually breaks

Or telling yourself:

"Depth isn't that important"
"Great sex is enough"
"Conversation can be boring"
"I'm being uptight wanting both"
"Maybe depth will develop"

What actually happens:

Emptiness grows
Feel used
Emotional starvation
Passion fades anyway
Eventually breaks

Neither works long-term. You need both.

Exception: Asexual Relationships

Important note:

If you're asexual:

Spiritual connection without sex works
Not settling, matching orientation
Both partners asexual or compatible
Valid relationship form
Not what we're discussing here

This article is for: People who DO experience sexual desire and are choosing relationships without chemistry or depth.

Asexuality is different from: Having sexual desire but ignoring it to stay with someone spiritually compatible.

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How to Assess What You Actually Have

Getting honest:

Evaluating Spiritual Connection

Ask yourself honestly:

Conversations:

Can we talk for hours?
Do I feel understood?
Can I share my depths?
Are we intellectually matched?
Do values align?

Growth:

Do we support each other's evolution?
Can we challenge each other lovingly?
Are we both growth-oriented?
Do we inspire each other?

Soul recognition:

Do I feel known deeply?
Is there energetic resonance?
Do we "get" each other?
Is there spiritual alignment?

Future vision:

Can I see life partnership?
Do we want similar futures?
Are purposes aligned?
Can we build together?

If mostly yes: Strong spiritual connection exists.

If mostly no: Spiritual connection is weak or absent.

Evaluating Sexual Chemistry

Ask yourself honestly:

Physical attraction:

Am I physically attracted?
Do I desire them sexually?
Is there magnetic pull?
Do I want to touch them?
Does my body respond?

Sexual compatibility:

Is sex satisfying?
Do we communicate about it?
Are we compatible sexually?
Is there passion?
Do I feel desired?

Ongoing desire:

Does attraction continue?
Or did it die after honeymoon?
Do I still want them?
Is spark maintained?

Physical intimacy:

Do I enjoy kissing them?
Is touch natural?
Is physical closeness comfortable?
Does intimacy feel good?

If mostly yes: Strong sexual chemistry exists.

If mostly no: Sexual chemistry is weak or absent.

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The Honest Matrix

Where do you land?

High Spiritual + High Sexual: You have integrated love. This is the goal. Nurture both.

High Spiritual + Low Sexual: Deep friendship, not romance. Either accept platonic or let go.

Low Spiritual + High Sexual: Physical connection, no depth. Either build depth fast or recognize it's temporary.

Low Spiritual + Low Sexual: Why are you together? Serious question. What's the foundation?

Be ruthlessly honest about where you actually are.

When One Is "Medium"

Gray areas:

Medium spiritual, high sexual: Potential if they're growth-oriented and connection can deepen. Give it time with clear assessment.

High spiritual, medium sexual: Sometimes chemistry develops with emotional intimacy. But not always. Don't force it long-term.

Both medium: Depends on trajectory—improving or declining? Willingness to work? Age and life stage?

"Medium" requires honest assessment: Is it truly building or are you hoping it will?

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When to Give It Time vs. When to Walk Away

Discernment practice:

Spiritual Connection That Could Deepen

Give it time if:

They show:

Genuine curiosity
Willingness to grow
Beginning to open up
Asking deeper questions
Making effort
Improvement over time

You notice:

Connection building
Conversations deepening
Shared experiences creating bond
Trust developing
Trajectory is positive

Timeline: 3-6 months to see if depth develops. Not years hoping.

If after 6 months: Still surface? That's likely who they are. Accept or move on.

Sexual Chemistry That Could Develop

Give it time if:

There's:

Some attraction (even if not strong)
Emotional intimacy building
Physical comfort increasing
Willingness to explore
Communication about it

Research shows:

Chemistry can grow with emotional connection
Some people are "slow burn"
Intimacy can create attraction
But not from zero

Timeline: 2-4 months of dating to see if physical desire emerges. Not years forcing.

If after several months: Still nothing physically? That's body's answer. Respect it.

When Spiritual Connection Won't Happen

Walk away if:

They're:

Completely closed to growth
Hostile to depth
Dismissive of your path
No curiosity or questions
Surface permanently
Not your match intellectually

After honest effort: Some people aren't depth-oriented. That's okay for them. Not okay for you.

Don't:

Waste years trying to make them deep
Stay hoping they'll wake up
Suppress your need for substance

Accept incompatibility. Move on.

When Sexual Chemistry Won't Happen

Walk away if:

There's:

Zero physical attraction
Force yourself to kiss them
Sex feels like chore
No desire at all
Body actively resists
Trying but nothing

After honest effort: If body says no, listen. This isn't shallow—it's wisdom.

Don't:

Force yourself for years
Feel guilty about physical needs
Think you'll "get over it"
Stay in passionless relationship

Accept body's truth. Move on.

The "Trying" Period

How long to assess:

First 3 months: Honest evaluation of what exists. Chemistry usually apparent. Depth beginning to show or not.

3-6 months: Trajectory clear. Improving or stagnant? Give genuine effort but watch honestly.

After 6 months: If still lacking in major area (spiritual or sexual), probably won't develop. Make decision.

Don't: Wait years hoping. "Trying period" isn't forever. It's assessment window.

Trust what you see.

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You're Allowed to Want Both

Permission you might need:

It's Not Shallow to Want Chemistry

Releasing guilt:

You're not:

Unspiritual for wanting sex
Shallow for needing attraction
Materialistic for honoring body
Unenlightened for desiring passion
Wrong for having physical needs

You're:

Human with a body
Honoring all of yourself
Integrated and whole
Embodying spirituality
Healthy and natural

Physical desire is: Normal. Healthy. Part of being human. Sacred even. Not "lower" than spiritual.

Let go of: Guilt. Shame. "Should" around desire. Spiritual bypassing of body.

You deserve: Partner who wants you physically AND spiritually.

It's Not Uptight to Want Depth

Releasing other guilt:

You're not:

Too picky for wanting substance
Unrealistic for needing depth
Overthinking for wanting connection
Too serious for craving meaning
Wrong for needing mental stimulation

You're:

Conscious and awake
Honoring your depths
Seeking true partnership
Wanting real intimacy
Healthy and wise

Depth is: Essential. Valid. Necessary for you. Not "too much." Real need.

Let go of: Being told you're too picky. Pressure to settle. "Chemistry is enough" lies.

You deserve: Partner who meets you in depth AND desire.

Both Is Not "Unicorn" Territory

It exists:

Plenty of people:

Have found both
Are living integrated love
Report deep soul connection AND sexual fire
Wouldn't settle for one without other
Will tell you it's possible

It's rare because:

Most people haven't done their work
Many settle out of fear
Some don't know it's possible
Few are truly conscious AND embodied

But not unicorn rare: Just requires patience, discernment, not settling, doing your work.

Keep faith. It exists.

What to Do While Waiting

Building yourself:

Work on:

Your own integration (body AND spirit)
Healing work (so you're ready)
Enjoying life (not waiting desperately)
Becoming whole (not looking to be completed)
Dating consciously (not settling or forcing)

Practice:

Not settling for partial match
Trusting your body AND soul
Honoring all your needs
Patience with timing
Faith in possibility

The more integrated YOU become: The more you attract integrated partnership.

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Building Integrated Relationships

When you find both:

Nurturing Spiritual Connection

Keep depth alive:

Practices:

Regular deep conversations
Shared growth activities
Supporting each other's paths
Learning together
Spiritual practices together or separately
Respecting individual journeys

Avoid:

Taking depth for granted
Stopping real conversation
Getting complacent about connection
Ignoring soul needs for logistics

Spiritual connection: Needs tending. Doesn't maintain itself. Invest in it.

Nurturing Sexual Chemistry

Keep passion alive:

Practices:

Prioritizing physical intimacy
Date nights and romance
Trying new things sexually
Communicating about desires
Maintaining attraction efforts
Not letting sex become routine only

Avoid:

Taking chemistry for granted
Letting sex become rare
Ignoring physical needs
Assuming passion maintains itself

Sexual chemistry: Also needs tending. Keep it alive intentionally.

The Integration Practice

Honoring both:

Integrated relationships:

Soul conversations in bed
Passionate sex with deep eye contact
Meditation together and sex together
Depth AND playfulness
Growth AND pleasure
Partnership AND romance

Both/and approach:

Spiritual date nights (workshops, nature, meditation)
Sexual date nights (romance, seduction, play)
Combined experiences (tantric practice, conscious intimacy)

Don't separate: Soul connection for "spiritual time" and sex for "physical time." Integrate them.

When One Aspect Struggles

Addressing imbalance:

If spiritual connection weakening:

Schedule regular deep talks
Address what's creating distance
Get couples counseling if needed
Recommit to depth
Don't ignore it

If sexual chemistry weakening:

Address it openly
Explore what's changed
Get sex therapy if needed
Recommit to intimacy
Don't ignore it

Both matter. Both deserve attention.

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The Integrated Vision

What we're actually building:

Embodied Spirituality in Love

The real goal:

Not: Transcending body for soul. Denying desire for depth. Choosing one aspect.

But: Honoring body AND soul. Embracing desire AND depth. Integrating all aspects.

Embodied spirituality means:

Spirit expressed through body
Soul AND sexuality
Consciousness AND chemistry
Awakening that includes ALL of you

In relationships: This looks like partners who see your soul AND want your body. Love your mind AND desire your touch. Support your growth AND ignite your passion.

You Deserve Wholeness

Final truth:

You deserve:

Partner who loves all of you
Relationship that feeds all aspects
Connection that honors wholeness
Love that doesn't make you choose
Partnership that integrates everything

Don't settle for:

Spiritual connection without desire
Sexual chemistry without depth
Partial relationships
Half of what you need
Fragments when you deserve wholeness

Integrated love exists.

Wait for it. Work toward it. Don't settle without it.

You're worth the whole package.

Your Integration Questions Answered

Q: Can sexual chemistry develop over time with spiritual connection?

Sometimes, but not always. Research shows chemistry can grow with emotional intimacy—especially for people who are "slow burn." But requires SOME baseline attraction. If you have zero physical draw after 3-4 months of emotional intimacy, it's unlikely to develop. Chemistry can deepen, but rarely appears from nothing. Trust your body's response.

Q: Is it shallow to end a spiritually connected relationship over lack of chemistry?

NO. You're not shallow—you're integrated. Honoring your body's needs is as spiritual as honoring your soul's needs. A relationship without desire becomes platonic friendship, not romantic partnership. If you want romance, you need both. Ending it with compassion and honesty is mature, not shallow.

Q: What if I'm the only one who wants both? They say spiritual connection should be enough.

Different people have different needs. Some are satisfied with platonic partnerships. If you need sexual chemistry and they don't, you're incompatible—not wrong. Don't let anyone shame you for wanting integrated love. Find someone who values both like you do.

Q: Can a relationship survive if spiritual connection is strong but chemistry fluctuates?

Yes, if both people are committed to maintaining it. Sexual chemistry can ebb and flow with life stressors, health issues, relationship dynamics. Key is addressing it openly, working on it together, and both valuing physical intimacy. If chemistry died and neither cares, that's different than temporary fluctuation.

Q: I have amazing chemistry but they're not growth-oriented. Will they change?

Probably not. Don't date potential or who you hope they'll become. If they're not growth-oriented NOW, assume they won't be. You can't love someone into consciousness. Either accept them as they are (not recommended if depth is essential to you) or acknowledge incompatibility.

Q: How do I know if I'm being too picky or honoring my needs?

Ask: Are you rejecting everyone for minor flaws? Too picky. Are you wanting fundamental compatibility (depth + desire)? Honoring needs. Requiring perfection = too picky. Requiring basics (attraction, depth, kindness, compatibility) = healthy standards. Trust yourself.

Q: Is tantric practice the answer to integrating both?

Tantric practice can deepen connection between people who already have both spiritual connection and sexual chemistry. But it won't create chemistry where there's none, or depth where there's none. It enhances what exists—doesn't manufacture it from nothing. It's a tool for integrated couples, not a fix for fundamental incompatibility.

You Can Have Both

Integrated love is possible.

📚 EXPLORE MORE: Find books on sacred sexuality, integrated relationships, and embodied spirituality at The Community Bookshelf: Browse New & Bestselling Books!

✨ ONGOING SUPPORT: Visit Miracles Unfold blog for integrated love and relationship wisdom.

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We're building wholeness together:

No false hierarchies
Body AND soul honored
Real integration
Practical wisdom
You're not alone

You deserve all of you loved.

Spiritual connection AND sexual chemistry.

Don't settle for less. 💜✨

Final thought:

The spiritual community taught you that wanting sexual chemistry is "low vibration."

They said:

"Spiritual connection should be enough"
"Transcend the physical"
"Desire is ego"
"Soul love is higher"
"You're being shallow"

So you:

Stayed in passionless relationships
Felt guilty about physical needs
Tried to force spiritual connection to be enough
Denied your body
Called it "evolved"

Or you went the other way:

Prioritized chemistry over everything
Ignored lack of depth
Used sex to avoid emptiness
Denied your soul
Called it "realistic"

Here's the actual truth:

You're not either soul OR body. You're BOTH.

You need:

Partner who sees your soul AND wants your body
Relationship that feeds your mind AND ignites your passion
Love that honors your depths AND your desires
Connection that's spiritual AND sexual

You need integration. Not either/or.

Spiritual connection without sexual chemistry: Creates deep friendship, not romance. Beautiful but incomplete if you want partnership.

Sexual chemistry without spiritual connection: Creates hot but hollow encounters. Exciting but unsustainable.

Both together: Creates integrated love. Embodied spirituality. Conscious romance. Real partnership.

This is: What you deserve. What exists. What's worth waiting for.

Stop settling. Stop choosing. Stop splitting yourself.

You're allowed to want:

Deep soul recognition
AND magnetic physical attraction
Meaningful conversation
AND passionate sex
Spiritual alignment
AND sexual fire

Both. Not one or the other. Both.

Integrated love honors ALL of you.

And you deserve nothing less. 🌟💚🙏

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